"No regrets, not this time.. I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind."

Lately I have been feeling empty. Empty and broken. I am alive but I am not living. I have realized that I am four months away from being twenty years old and I have absolutely nothing to show for the past twenty years of my existence. I have come to find that life passes by way too quickly. The most important thing I have learned lately is that if I don't take control of my life right now and search for my purpose, I will always feel this sense of emptiness and brokenness, and I will always be lost searching for something. This isn't the first time I have felt this way and the cure is simple, I just never stick with it so I can fully heal. You see, I am a people pleaser. I am one of those people who care entirely too much about what others think about me and I want to be loved and accepted by absolutely everyone. I don't stop to think about the consequences that come along with "people pleasing." Trying to please everyone around me has caused me to lose myself completely. I have to stop and question who I really am, who I want to be, and what I am here for. Well, I think it is time I take my identity back and reclaim who it is I want to be.

This is who I am:
I am someone who has seen more than my fair share of dark days, but I have never let that define who I am as a person. I am someone who likes to set goals but has a very hard time following through with any of them. I do not forgive easily and struggle with letting go of the past. I am a girl who should definitely still not be alive today, but I am and I feel like God has something HUGE in store for my life. I am someone who loves God with everything in me, BUT I do not attend church or read my Bible the way I should.
                     


                             WILL
This is who I want be:
I will be someone who has more than her fair share of dark days, but I will continue to never let that define who I am. I will be someone who sets goals and follows through with them. I will pray for the ability to forgive and to let go of the past. I am a girl who will figure out what God's purpose is for my life and I will do everything I possibly can to serve that purpose. I will continue to love God with everything in me, AND I will attend church and read my Bible the way I should.


Empty and broken is not going to be my future. I know what the cure is and this time I am not letting it go.  Life is too short to continue going backwards or not moving at all. "NO REGRETS, NOT THIS TIME... I"M GONNA LET MY HEART DEFEAT MY MIND."